Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Crazier Than Hell

John recorded this in 2010, 31 years after his unimaginable loss.
I can't even begin to say how powerfully this has affected me today.
Every single word is perfect. Yeah, THIRTY-ONE YEARS.
For me, there is no poet on Earth like this man.

Lyrics (my transcription):

Feeling crazier than hell
Got this time on my hands
I got you on my mind
And nowhere else to go
The fires burn hot and cold
That's some place in between the melt and the freeze
This need for reaching for you
You were all I could be
Now I'm here where I'm alone
We were one, now I'm a ghost
Falling from my place in the Sun
This dizzy is out of control
The world keeps spinning
I heard a vibrating echoing
Sounded they lost one of you
Amongst the truths I sought
You were the one I found
Now I need the remembering
The memories of you holding my hand
Remembrances of laughter, singing
Songing the nights with belonging
Sweetness the shelter of each other
Reality, the reality of safe, peace
With all these times of missing you
I'm not going to love these days without you to hold my hand
Feeling crazier than hell
This crazy just goes on and on
And this confusion of me
Crazy together or crazy apart
When crazy is crazy, it's not always in our heads
Sometimes it's in our hearts

This man knows Love, and always, like now, I never cease crying from
his words. I can barely type these lines..... 


Sunday, February 22, 2015


Taken last night by my Beloved's friend on Oregon coast
by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
what you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
You must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
Thanking everyone for their kind thoughts  and prayers. These are the only things holding me up in this time. 
Also, as my bro, Sanjay, says - my drum is my life raft. I played for the community on Shivaratri night for 4 hours. Full power and emotion offered. 
O God, please help me. O Goddess, please help me....over and over, all day and night.
Still weeping continuously within and without. 
She only....saw me and knew me to the depth of my soul. She only....loved me unconditionally in this life. Now I am ruined, fully in the realm of, and dependent on, divine grace. 
She is everywhere, but my hand longs for her touch. I can only touch the drum that she too played on. 
How can I make this passage?  

Friday, January 30, 2015

Arunachala Has Always Been Her Home

This is all I can say as the words come to form in their own time. For now, one small instant in this eternal mystery......

I thought my work was to come here to try to find her,
and then to love her,
and that that love would
be strong enough to overcome the forces that sought to deny the world of
her divine gifts and her divine presence

I feel as though I've fallen into a hallucinatory dimension of one's worst
imaginable nightmares. It doesn't feel like reality any more. I'm not in the same
creation. Thinking I was not disciplined enough, not remembering enough, not
impeccable. Although the words ring in my mind - her saying I "was perfect",
just before she turned irrevocably inward, not to re-emerge, despite my desperate
pleading with the angels and all divine beings

In the first days of our being together our love went nova.
In wonder and awe, we shared/felt/whispered our remembrance.
We have waited eons and yugas, but never forgot
and, we are finally here, together
to hold and cherish and maintain this sacred love
to heal, to create ever more exquisite beauty
in the world.
There was never any question of what we were serving.
With her natural Virgo nature and power, she surrendered wholly
to this holy service,
and worked, sometimes silently, sometimes roaring
to share this highest calling with all those around her.

Maybe I failed to remind her enough, of her divine goddess nature,
and she often was reluctant to accept the fullness
of what I could unquestioningly see with my own eyes.
I never felt like being insistent, since I knew she was coming and would come to know
in herself her own true nature, as one can only do.
So now she knows,
and I am on this side of the veil, a mad-man,
like Shiva dancing the tandava dance.

What do the angels want me to know?

Shivo hum Parvo hum  

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

OneLove Healing Prayers for Our World

When the sun within speaks, 
when love reaches out its hand
and places it upon another,

any power the stars and planets
might have upon us,

any fears you can muster can
become so rightfully insignificant.

What one heart can do for
another heart, is there any beauty
in the world that can match this?

- Hafiz (1320-1389)

Gregory Colbert - "Ashes and Snow"

As reported on Winter Solstice, an Argentine appeals court ruled the 29-year-old Sumatran orangutan, Sandra, to be a "non-human person unlawfully deprived of it's her freedom", with legal rights, specifically to not be subjected to imprisonment in the zoo where she has been held for 20 years. A sanctuary is ready to receive her. Need we say more? Didn't think so.

Our friend from the resident free rabbit tribe greeted us on New Year's Eve - so handsome with his/her winter coat:

And, after 6+ months, our hibiscus flowered on New Year's Day! 
We took that as an auspicious omen of Ma Kali's/Kwan Yin's divine grace.
And, bringin' it all back home..Situation here on the home front had recently gotten pretty emotionally intense. Some good and powerful angelic messages closely followed by a sudden symptomatic crisis found my beloved at 3am (with me) in the ER between the holidays.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, what we're dealing with is probably not so different from what a lot of the Love Tribe of true human beings around the planet are facing.  Life and death issues.
I have this friend/partner/spirit-companion who, previously unbeknownst to me, happens to be one of the most astonishing hidden contemporary mystic bhakti poet/writers I have ever read, seen, or heard. A year and a half after meeting, I became the first person ever to whom was shown her work. Hell, I thought she was just a super present, intelligent, spiritual young lady, who by some crazy stroke of luck I had the privilege to be with for a moment. Her talents are numerous, and still awakening. We inhabit a world of continuously expanding mutual respect, love, and shared re-membering, which I can't even begin to describe. Each new day is an absolute blessing and miracle. 
We have been managing (for last 14 months) a situation that requires utmost attention to diet, pure medicine, energy, spiritual practice, and other considerations in order to continue to stay alive here in this crucial time of the current Yuga. Neither are we fearful of the inevitable event of our transitioning, whenever that time might come. But that appears not to be our determination as to "when". 

So the medical-industrial-complex white-coated 'experts', seriously, sadly, with long faces, inform us that if she declines to take their chemo-rad poison (which 10-years previously precipitated the situation), they will now refer us to the hospice org. so that they can begin to "manage" the surely impending death with their morphine and all, and "help" us with necessary paper-work and preparations. So "go on home and die". Get the picture?
[Fortunately, she's not 17, like the girl who recently got tied down and forcibly given chemo by the 'child-protective' legal system.]

Changes have been made in our protocols in last couple weeks, and we are seeing positive results. We have also felt the outpouring of prayers and spiritual support being directed our way, and are immensely grateful. 
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as you are able.

This healing is no different from the healing which we all need to engage in, for all the sufferers and holy beings desiring to free our world from the depredations of the parasites and predators who have ravaged our bodies and the Earth simultaneously. 

A healing peace prayer by an extraordinary Nepali woman Buddhist nun:

Her awesome life story is briefly described in this review of her new autobiographical book, Singing for Freedom.


Sunday, December 21, 2014

Solstice Love

Sending out some Solstice blessings, felicitations, and big ups to all who come here, all beings known and unknown, of all forms and formless, in this precious world. 

Whether one thinks of this moment in astrological terms, as a primitive religious concept, a designated celebratory date of the 'evil ones', or just another day of no consequence, you might just, with a little research, be able to grasp the auspiciousness of a marked turning-point in one of the major cycles of motion taking place perpetually in our reality matrix of intimately-connected-movement-and-time, an unceasing, defining quality of all that exists. Nothing stands still. All is in motion. And everything is turning. It's where we live.
Today is when the time-keeping clock-hands of the Sun-Earth story-dance cycle strike midnight.
What's not to love?....and celebrate?

This 'year'! This one that just went by....I think the most difficult, personally, of all in my lifetime. Certainly the most stressful, the most mind-wracking, the most crazy-making, and the most faith-testing of any I can remember. 
And the last 4 days of this one were the most intense testing ones of the whole year!!!

Only on this very day - Solstice 2014 - was my mind and remembered self restored fully. 
I feel I can begin again. With certainty of grace and protection renewed. It's been one helluva ride, once again, that terrifying solo descent into and back out of the underworld. 
I'm not alone here, am I right? 

Today's newsflash is: there are angels, in the purest sense, located closer than breath, that are unceasing in their support and protection. Yeah, we freely make those 'choices', for better or worse....Yet one could even say the angels are us
Divine work is going on on unimaginable levels and scope. And we, ourselves, are affecting vast numbers of life-forms with every prayer, thought, word, and action, though most of it remains invisible to our mundane awareness. We are not powerless, though we have been made to believe so.

I will say that I am intimately aware of a number of embodied angelic beings with whom I have had encounters in this life, and who continue doing what they do and check-in occasionally (heh). I will not name, describe, nor say any more on this here.
With an open heart and love-expanding perseverance you will meet similar ones in resonance with your own needs. This is assured, though it may seem to take forever.

Now it's 8 hours into the new cycle, and another certainty is that we don't know what will happen next, but let's join in collectively dropping fear, and embracing the unknown in this moment and knowing that Love is the strongest thing in the universe. 
Enjoy the following, put up on this very auspicious day itself - 12/21/14

OK, well...here's a bonus - the debate rages, between the lovers and the scientists...is it tortoise altruism or not, respectively? 
You decide (grin).

Monday, December 15, 2014

N. A. Naseer - wildlife photographer

By Sukumaran C. V

13 December, 2014 Countercurrents.org

N. A. Naseer is a wildlife photographer par excellence....His photographs show the serene bond between him and the animals. He has wandered through the forests for years together without camera in hand and has become a part of the forest as the animals, birds, reptiles, butterflies and insects are. Only after being a part of it, he started to photograph the forest and its children.
"Now he has published a wonderful book in Malayalam titled Kaadine Chennu Thodumbole (When we Touch the Forest).

Naseer, who can rightly be called the Rachel Carson of Kerala, says in the book: "Everything should change and change is needed for everything. But the only thing that should not be changed is forest. I don't know how we can call those who kill trees and mountains and marshes humans…."

In his long years of forest life, he has encountered almost all animals and reptiles, in the wild, face to face. But no animal (the carnivore or herbivore) or reptile has ever attacked him. He says that the wild animals can perfectly differentiate the humans who are their friends, who see them with reverence from those who come to kill them, who see them as something dangerous. “If the wild animals come just in front of us and if we reach very close to them, it is because of an intimate language, the language of heart, which is recognized by both the photographer and the photographed animals. We commit grave mistake when we consider it as adventure.”

All photos by N. A. Naseer

White Buffalo (Gaur) Calf




Tuesday, December 9, 2014

We Are All Bees Now

Bhramari Devi
Well, it's happened before, and seems to be getting more frequent, but animalliberationfront website has been down again for last 3 days at least. No surprise, since they, of course, are the most dangerous terrist threat to our great nation under god and, actually, all life on earth and everything good and wholesome and righteous.  So it's probably for our own protection by those who care so very much about all us proles.

There's a great article I'd like to share today about the emotional life of bees, and that is the sort of thing which I would always prefer to post in this space, but unfortunately there is a bit more of this little problem of all-pervading bullshit on the internet....
I know almost nobody reads my scribbling rantings, and I seem to have run out of things to say these days. I may have had some relevant, maybe even original, things to say in the past, and I was doing this for certain reasons, but I find now I can do no more than just repeat things I have written way too many times already, and I will probably only continue this blogspace with linking other writers and bloggers who have much more original things to say and are more articulate in getting crucial information across. 

Here is one rant that you shouldn't miss. 

See, this morning I had to bust a forum/blog because one of the admins posted a fake article from a fake "news" site regarding an environmental issue in the Amazon. He answered that "he had no idea the site was fake". It took me about 2 seconds to determine that the article and site linked was fake. Who the fuck are these people? I don't think they are even real in the identities that they project online. I believe there is a huge amount of this covert misdirection going on in these "open", "free", "truthseeking", "progressive" sites and blogs. Readers now have to be extremely vigilant and investigate what appears to be the above. The 'alternative' web is now way worse than mainstream media and way more voluminous. 
The above mentioned forum is closely associated with the wacko JimStone. He's the guy who posts shit like 'the 43 student-teachers murdered and incinerated in Mexico were communist thugs', and then this and more of his crap is picked up by VT, Rense, Truthseeker, and others. Then you get the shit about the fake 'oathkeepers' who claim all the protesters are "communists and muslims". It beats the crap outta me why anyone would want to be associated with these conscienceless and totally compromised characters with all the horseshit right-wing mind-fuckery that they push. These assholes, posing as 'alternatives to fascist mouthpieces'/'exposers of evil'/'supporters of culture' should all be incarcerated at the very minimum. A good portion naturally have spook or military 'backgrounds' too, duh. 

Nobody, in this day and age, with a strong such 'background' should be trusted as far as you can throw them. This is called "authoritarian follower" syndrome. It is a subset/symptom of WETIKO, plain and simple, hello. Actually they are equivalent. And it's not just limited, obviously, to the males with their hyper-masculinity cop-and-military 'culture', but includes the women who are attracted to those in uniforms of brutality

The western world, and indeed the entire world, is now full of these 'adult children' posing as adults. But let's not gloss over the fact that amerikka truly leads the way in being the most evil collectivity/empire ever to exist in the last 9000 years. One good thing is that there's no racism or misogyny - just ask a racist or misogynist anyone. Actually, 'evil' or 'horrific' or 'monstrous' doesn't even begin to come close to describing what needs to be utterly wiped from the face of the earth. If it were up to me, I'd nullify all laws and ownership, and just turn the whole damn thing over to a few generations of indigenous grandmothers to sort out. There are no words in any language to describe what the anglo/'murrkin/israhell/canadian/australian whatever-you-call-it is. All politicians, corporate execs, and spook/military heads (and all who even minutely support them) need to roll off the guillotine platform into the bucket asap for the extremely slight possibility of preservation of life on the planet. (And that should include the 'scientific', 'medical', and 'legal' establishment perps too.)

We still have no idea how anything like that might possibly come about, short of a 'miracle'. But, miracles do happen. Our own lives can attest to that. 
I still don't know if I even want to continue keeping this site alive, but I do acknowledge that, even if those un-compromised are a tiny minority, they have done and continue to do great work and service. I would include, among others, the previously linked Timster, A Peasant, Nina, Chris Floyd, 'willyloman', KulturCritic, easyidler, R. Sauder, Desdemona, Aang, Vivek, DublinMick, Zoner, and probably others I'm forgetting right now. These lovely folks have truly been an inspiration and comfort these past years. 108 thanks and praises!

Please read this fascinating study about the bee situation. It is not the usual or like what we're all familiar with. 

Musical break - "there will be an answer...."