Friday, January 30, 2015

Arunachala Has Always Been Her Home

This is all I can say as the words come to form in their own time. For now, one small instant in this eternal mystery......

I thought my work was to come here to try to find her,
and then to love her,
and that that love would
be strong enough to overcome the forces that sought to deny the world of
her divine gifts and her divine presence

I feel as though I've fallen into a hallucinatory dimension of one's worst
imaginable nightmares. It doesn't feel like reality any more. I'm not in the same
creation. Thinking I was not disciplined enough, not remembering enough, not
impeccable. Although the words ring in my mind - her saying I "was perfect",
just before she turned irrevocably inward, not to re-emerge, despite my desperate
pleading with the angels and all divine beings

In the first days of our being together our love went nova.
In wonder and awe, we shared/felt/whispered our remembrance.
We have waited eons and yugas, but never forgot
and, we are finally here, together
to hold and cherish and maintain this sacred love
to heal, to create ever more exquisite beauty
in the world.
There was never any question of what we were serving.
With her natural Virgo nature and power, she surrendered wholly
to this holy service,
and worked, sometimes silently, sometimes roaring
to share this highest calling with all those around her.

Maybe I failed to remind her enough, of her divine goddess nature,
and she often was reluctant to accept the fullness
of what I could unquestioningly see with my own eyes.
I never felt like being insistent, since I knew she was coming and would come to know
in herself her own true nature, as one can only do.
So now she knows,
and I am on this side of the veil, a mad-man,
like Shiva dancing the tandava dance.

What do the angels want me to know?

Shivo hum Parvo hum  


nina said...

The phrase, patience is a virtue applies. And of course, The experience of a lifetime as well.
I'm thinking the Wildlife Rescue Center was the perfect prelude. That would mean everything you are posting here is predestined. But we are just Humans in this lifetime and subject to Earth's atmosphere.

My heart is broken for you, but this is not the end of a story or a phase which is one of many phases, this is profound. Very rarely do we get or even hear of, confirmations of truth.

est said...

my heart goes out to you, my friend

you are not alone, nor have you ever been

how do i know this ?
the light awaits us all

we'll meet there, in grace [and silence]

when the night finally falls [as it always does]
i can only send my love [all of it]

and hope you receive it [within your heart]


jai sat chit ananda

Anonymous said...

Peace in your great loss


su said...

words fail
love abounds
memories soar
dimensions blend
grief embraces