Saturday, September 21, 2013

Mahakaleshwari timing

Ok, back up for a minute. This is for the 3 people who read this page and have found some obscure value in it over the past couple years, whose loving support I have treasured and am grateful for. 
The past 5 weeks have been the most intense days of my lifetime, and I'm just coming here to give a short summary of what's going on and what I'm dealing with right now. Actually, the past 8 months have been completely intense and awesome, but things took a twist about 5 weeks back. Thing is, is I'm still managing to do some major music work despite all the rest of the shit going on. 

During this period I've been tempted to point out various crimes against creation by the wetikos, for example our local New Mexico coyote killing contests (again!) as well as the recent prairie dog killing contest....this kind of shit is apparently unstoppable by any known legal means, and tends to give one dreams of 'hunter' killing contests. But anyway, there has been no time for covering such madness which is a mere speck in the totality of the sick times. There's also the mind-numbing insanity of so much of the blog world that has made me just take leave of bothering with most all of it. I'm talking about the soooo cool and hip so-called progressive/spiritual online scene that fell for all the dumbass racist shit around the Trayvon drama. Fucking astounding how many read and regurgitate the right-wing amerikan-exceptionalism bullshit with their spell-binding wordsmithing skills utilized in this direction. That Trayvon thing was the last straw for most of my interest in blog world. I could name names and give examples of the promoted mind-fuckery, but I don't have the time (nor give a shit) any more. 

Yeah, see, 8 months ago I found the beloved of my life after 66 years and a million lifetimes searching. It was, and is, the same for her. It has been that kind of thing where you wake up in the morning and press your head against the earth and give thanks and praises for the unspeakable grace and blessings. Every day your love and admiration and adoration finds a new uncharted level undreamed of. 
There had been a past of some consequence. It involved the big "C" - talkin cancer here. It had been dealt with in an unconventional way and resulted in a remission, with a few traces left. It also resulted in some rather radical spiritual transformations, which I'm not going into.

That all took place some years back. In the meantime some forms of psycho-spiritual abuse happened, bringing us up to our meeting and the present. I believe there is some connection to what occurred recently. Five weeks ago a trip to the ER revealed a reappearance. A very 'dangerous' reappearance. My beloved was told if she did nothing then she would probably be dead in a month. So.....we did NOT do nothing. It's been a fast-paced, non-stop, light-speed marathon involvement which has had many elements of unheard-of auspicious split-second door-openings, Ganesh-type obstacle-removing, divine graces of angel-appearances, perfect [real] medicines, and so forth. But it has been, and still is, a full-on journey of exhausting intensity, every day, and we're only somewhere in the middle of this journey. There is only today, and more than that, there's only NOW. Interesting to see how quickly one's attention to bullshit DISAPPEARS completely in this type of situation. Our plans for getting the hell out of this fucked up small-town/sick-ass state are on hold, but just for as long as necessary. That day when we ride out of here and into the next unknown territory will come, inshallah.

I've also got the most important gig of my lifetime 'career' in about 13 days, on the East Coast. I'm also continuing, somehow, to teach my students on Skype regularly each week, but that might change. This gig will be the first time a non-Indian white-boy (yours truly) performs this tribal lineage tradition of the full repertoire in concert at a major venue in the West, so there's a bit of, um, stress and anticipation involved (heh). The timing of the Great Mother, Mahakaleshwari!
I'm actually ok. Just putting one foot in front of the other, keepin on feeding us (from our own garden), and holding the lovetrance space without pause, and minimizing the unavoidable psychic meltdowns that come with sharing this territory. Don't know what else to say.

Well, prayers to help me (and my love) stay strong to move through and support this crucial healing are appreciated. Thank you.




su said...

Ah dear one,

Many prayers from the depths of being for your beloved - and for you in walking beside her at this time.
May the profound timings and lumninosity increase and hold you in her fragrant embrace.

And as for the gig - anyway you can record it for us to see and savour.
Much love

nina said...

Blown away Bho, truly, must the real thing come at such a heavy price, we wander from person and place to place and person for most of our lives and you found it at last, now the only battle worth fighting is on your doorstep. This was no chance meeting. You both must be facing a hundred new lessons a day. Listen, I have faith in you and in her because of you, somehow you will make it right. Casting the Indigenous Grandmothers' net of light on you both.

I didn't get what you were saying about Zimmerman, you didn't comment on that post I put up either so I don't know if we are in agreement, if not please elaborate so I can understand more.

Huge bags of love, as neil said, and more.

bholanath said...

Thank you Su and Nina both, from the heart.
Yes, truly a hundred or more lessons/day/minute. And another very special medicinal connect made today; we know we'll make it through fine, and also in the process of zeroing in on the root(s), which is even more crucial.
Maybe at some point I can go into more detail regarding modalities, which may be of interest to others.

Nina, I was too wrapped up in other matters to comment, plus in the process of taking all the info/disinfo in, and just exercising discernment. I found, and continue to find, so much subtle racism-in-denial throughout a number of popular blogs and other writings. In particular, with the Zim stuff, a proliferation of labeling Trayvon a 'druggie thug' and the Zim entity some kind of 'hero' despite what all (except the jury) knew. I have ID-ed these certain types of tendencies in blogs for years, but that case made things crystal clear for me. There are other factors, including heavy self-delusion apparent, that I also just have no time for all around the webs. Feels much better focusing on the immediate lessons presenting themselves...definitely a full plate.

Zoner said...

Thanks for sharing your joy as well as the challenges. Best of luck with the ongoing and huge congrats for the big gig. And yes, leaving a place where killing animals is a "contest" is certainly indicated.

The blog world? Let them have it all to themselves to roll around in and feel self-important and righteous in their thinly-veiled hatred of the "other". We'l see how far that gets anyone.......

Best regards from a frequent lurker who has little to say but admires your art and your spirit.


neal said...

...what Z said. Aho.

Anonymous said...

More than 3 ... have a moment of fun

Anonymous said...

Radiance of clarity my friend. Peace in your journey

Anonymous said...


thanks for all the writing and the music... and thanks for the update, you do live in some tremendous times personally.

May it all work out for you both.

peace and light